


Always

by ExpensiveGirl7



Category: EXO (Band), K-pop
Genre: Angst and Feels, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-10
Updated: 2019-11-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:21:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26395582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ExpensiveGirl7/pseuds/ExpensiveGirl7
Summary: "Thank you for being there for me when I need it.""Always."
Relationships: Zhang Yi Xing | Lay/Reader, Zhang Yi Xing | Lay/You
Kudos: 2





	Always

It had been a hard day... No, a hard week— wait, maybe month?

Years, actually. It had been hard ever since the beginning, hard years of training to get to where he is now, and yet they still treat him like... Like this.

Maybe he did something wrong in his past life? But then he wouldn't have all the good things he has now, right?

He has money, the very thing humans would tear at each other's throats for. Despite this, he's not blinded by greed and remains humble, thankful for everyone who helped him get this far. If he did make a mistake in his past life, it probably wasn't so bad since he has everything anyone could ever ask for, but the internal suffering must definitely be a punishment for something.

For what exactly, he doesn't know. He has been nothing but kind to the world: he takes care of everyone around him and puts them first, and he doesn't have time to worry about himself because he's always trying to please everyone. He feels like he should've known, should've been aware of what he was getting himself into.

He had no idea it would be this difficult.

It wasn't at first since he was doing what he loves — he still is — but it just isn't same anymore. He's lonely, the people he wants around him the most aren't there. They try to keep contact, they really do, but with their terribly busy schedules and barely existing free time, it's gotten nearly impossible. They're always too exhausted and prefer to use their free time to catch up on some much needed sleep.

This really isn't what he signed up for anymore; it feels like he made a pact with Satan himself.

He was supposed to be happy, but things had gotten out of his control.

Happiness.

That's something he hasn't felt in a long time and the constant smile on his face is starting to falter. He feels... Empty, hollow, like a shell.

Zhang Yixing misses his brothers.

He knows they've lost 3 along the way and that it'll scar them all if he leaves too. It would be selfish to leave, wouldn't it? But it feels as if he already did, his solo activities far outnumbering the group activities. A contract was the only thing holding them together.  
It really did feel like a deal with the devil.

And so he stays, for their sake. And maybe even his own, too. If he were to officially leave, his brothers would probably never forgive him.

It's really stressful when you have so many people counting on you, hoping you won't let them down, looking up to you and encouraging you; you don't want to fail them.

Mistakes, especially, are not allowed.

It's so fucking difficult to please the entire world. He wants his happiness back but he doesn't want to take everyone else's away... Because that's the price he'll have to pay.

He doesn't know what to do anymore, he's officially lost.

"I'm so sick of this, I'm sick of everything!"

Loud crashing sounds follow the shouting. The kitchen table is flipped and glasses are shattered. He throws another glass at the wall, the shards flying everywhere. He grunts as he throws another one harshly against the wall opposite him. Many plates were already broken, lying in front of the kitchen sink in pieces but he continues letting his anger out on anything he could reach.

"I don't deserve to be treated like this!" The cupboard is sent crashing down next to him, the remaining items inside turning to pieces. "But it's not like they care about anything else other than the money I bring to their fucking pockets!"

The couch cushions are not on the couch anymore, their filling torn out and scattered around; the stuffing of the decorative pillows also littered the entire living room.

He continues grabbing whatever he could reach, destroying it and throwing it in different directions, not really caring what it was or where it landed.

"Screw everything!"

[Y/n] could hear a voice shouting angrily, followed by a loud rumble from inside her home. She hurries to open the door, only to find that the entire place is an absolute disaster; it was like a hurricane had entered the house. She ducks when something comes at her, shattering into pieces behind her head.

Another object heads her way and she lets out a high-pitched scream this time, catching his attention.

"Hey! What the hell, Yixing?!"

Yixing snaps out of his blind rage in a second, chest heaving and mouth agape. "[Y/n], I didn't hear you come in..."

"It's not like you would've been able to clean this up before I noticed if you had." [Y/n] shakily stands back up and slowly approaches her lover. She takes a hold of his face in both hands, calming him down a little more. "What's wrong? Why are you like this?" She asks in a soft tone, her words laced with concern.

Yixing takes a deep breath, clenching his fists. "You heard the new group album, right?"

The girl furrows her eyebrows and nods slowly, "I did, yes."

"And?"

"Well, it's pretty great, as always. I know how much you've been looking forward to this comeback and it's finally here. You're working with your brothers again, like you wanted. So..." She didn't know how to continue.

"I have less lines than Sehun had when we first debuted! If I knew this is what I was gonna get, then I would've never come back." Yixing complains, pulling at his own hair in frustration.

He's wanted this so bad and for so long but it's all just... Not what he expected. He merely greeted his members but they still haven't had time to catch up. It's practically been 2 years, for Pete's sake.

[Y/n]'s features soften. She caresses his cheeks softly with her thumbs. "Is this why the living room is a mess?" She asks in a voice that made it obvious she understood very well what he was going through; she understood him better than anyone else ever could.

Yixing nods, frowning and looking like a kicked puppy. [Y/n] unexpectedly embraces him in a tight hug, "I'm so sorry, baby... I know it's hard but you have to live with it. A lot of fans were looking forward to seeing you and those short seconds surely made them happy, you know," she says as she soothingly pats his back.

The male isn't convinced, "Yeah, but you know how you get to see me a lot..? The fans don't and I just want to hug them all like this, thank them and tell them that I appreciate them."

"I know..." [Y/n] sighs and presses her face into his chest. She knew when Yixing was this kind of mood, it was hard to get him to shift back. It had never been this bad before, so this situation must have really been taking a toll on him.

"I left China for this, I left you for this... They practically used me as clickbait in the teasers. I bet most of those fans were disappointed, I'm a disappointment." Yixing's voice cracks at the end of the sentence.

He's been holding his emotions in for so long and now the dam was finally breaking.

[Y/n] pulls away from the hug and looks at him sternly, "You are not a disappointment. Never have been, never will be. You work hard and almost nonstop. You sacrifice your sleep and even your health to do what you love and make others happy and that should be enough. You're smart, talented, funny. You put others first, taking care of them more than you take care of yourself. The fans are lucky to have you, I'm lucky to have you. Hell, I feel like the luckiest girl in the world! You have the biggest heart of gold, Yixing. You're amazing and don't you dare think otherwise. Never say you're a disappointment, never ever say that about yourself ever again."

How could he say that about himself? How could he even think that?

Maybe it's because of all the thoughts he's put inside his own head about not being enough. Thoughts like that weren't uncommon for him, he's always had them.

Yixing stares at [Y/n] in awe, overwhelmed, "You always know what to say." He finally hugs her back. "Thank you, seriously. I swear I wouldn't have gotten anywhere without you..." he sighs, "Thank you for being there for me when I need it."

[Y/n] hugs him back tightly, making sure to express her love for him in the embrace.  
They stayed in each other's arms for a long while, standing in the middle of the mess that was created.

"Always."


End file.
